Uncondtional Love (022316)

It takes effort and confidence to love unconditionally.
And it’s worth it, as with all things that require dedication;
a divine transformation or true salvation.

Without condition confidence becomes
consciousness; you know who you are without
explanation nor definition nor judgement.

Without condition confidence becomes
understanding; often man knows not what he does
nor is aware of his own affliction. Forgive them.

Without condition confidence becomes
compassion; what’s right is right and justice shall
be accessible to all, all creatures great and small.

Without condition confidence becomes
peace and love beyond all understanding and the ability to
forgive the gossiping tongue and the heated heart of hatred.

Without condition confidence becomes
a blossoming beautiful brave being boldly believing and
living a life of true unconditional love; God is love.

Yours truly, B. 010416

So I found myself thinking about you yet again wondering if I would continue to visit and go through the the many things we went through; both good and bad. Something about familiarity and routine that brings comfort and contentment like eating food you know is bad for you, but who can say no to good fried chicken. 

I thought about the night our world ended. How you took me to a place I had never been. We came close to losing everything. The risk. The gamble. The necessity to please everyone by giving light and life while sacrificing our own; something we did to often. What a night and what a life. I'm thankful. 

But as all good stories and times must end so must our dependency upon one another. This tug of war leading to no where. 

"This is the song that doesn't end, it just goes on and on my friend."

I must cut the tie that binds us and free myself of you only holding on to the lessons learned. A sweet dream and beautiful nightmare. Twisted fantasies someday to be revealed in a novel yet to be written. Farewell my past. It's been real. I'm ready for something new and glorious and shiny. 

Yours truly....
B. 010416

Rhapsody in Change

work 2 do

finally

he was weird and i loved him for it
bold outspoken and unapologetic and
i loved him for it
unbothered and unconsumed with the
ways and worries of the world
often enjoying anime, mozart and meek mill
and i loved him for it

we hunted through thrift stores
looking for lost treasure
a long forgotten chair or an
abandoned appliance
once we found an antiquated jewelry box
with two matching bands inside
from that moment on we knew

and i loved him for the simple
outlook he had on life and loving
it made me want to live and be more
it gave me hope and courage and
restored my faith in god and man and
i loved him for loving me enough to free me
allowing me to be me without condition

countless memorable moments
we would share contemplating
life and love and technology and african mysticism
while learning yoga, taking day trips to the beach
karaoke and eating burgers and brussels sprout my
singing off key and belly doesn't  bother him at all
he loved me for it

as fairy tales with happy endings go
we eventually said our i do’s
not at the approval of congress or christians or anyone for
church and state and salesmen were not allowed inside our home
our witnesses were a plant, some goldfish, and a puppy
their being was enough the only company we needed and
we loved them for it.

What is Love?

staywoke

k dot

keep smiling
keep shining
keep speaking
keep writing

your lyrics
speak truth
keep reaching
our youth

keep dreaming
keep sharing
keep loving
keep daring

stay conscious
don’t stray
keep danger
away

keep living
keep breathing
lost souls
keep feeding

optimism
please keep it
the people
we need it

keep fighting
stay winning
stay you
no pretending

stay woke
stay up
tell haters
shut up

the people
we need you
the gods
they sent you

your poems
inspire
your verses
straight fire

mortal men
we’re not
from caterpillars
to stars…

to k. lamar.

IG: bdapoet

out of great tribulation

writer dreamer lover poet

as a
writer a
dreamer a
lover a
poet
i oft wonder if it were my
life’s purpose to
live in discourse in the
most correct way

foreign from the
typical routine others
enslave themselves to
committed to living from
paycheck to pay back and
monetary necessities

for i treat dollars with the same
despise some mother-in-laws
shade towards those not
worth the fruit of her labor

even at the bottom
mind aching with
regrets i still find love
feeling the warm
sun upon my face the
cool wetness of rain the
awe inspiring joy that singing birds bring
not a sad song but one filled with
green melodic cadences

what is the color of freedom
certainly not the
darkness behind
closed tired eyes and calloused hands
missing mesmerizing moments and miracles
occurring naturally around this

orbiting sphere who’s
center must certainly be
caring and generous enough to
sustain constant consistent
lack of appreciation and gratitude
side effects of hate greed corruption and fear

perchance the color of freedom is love
bravely loving enough to
unplug from the reddening madness of
routine and predictability and comfortable conformity and
live passionately as a
writer a
dreamer a
lover a
poet

standing in the need of prayer

on tracks i travel towards a testimony i’ve yet to deliver

souls lie in limbo like trash scattered throughout philadelphia streets

mama said goodbye with a tear in her eye but she knew it was what she had to do

her baby boy wouldn’t listen, his will no longer wore the diaper she dutifully

placed around his heart praying every night that demons kept their distance

“keep and protect him lord” she prayed only to let go without knowing the 

consequence or conclusion to his destiny, “i put it all in your hands” her faith 

unquestioned

i no longer regret the lines of coke i did or the alcohol i consumed for it

provided tales of healing and grace and how out of any darkness the sun

will always rise like the spirit of the phoenix i rise with the certainty of tides

crashing along sandy Carolina shores and beaches where coloreds use to dance

paying homage to the seas, ancestral spirits still swimming in salty waters

searching for home free from the evil bondage that enslaved for profit

and greed i grieve for them i am burdened with the task of liberating their offspring

spring came with my resurrection after a night of drinking poison causing me to 

slumber for seven days while death grinned foolishly in the corner hoping i would say no 

hoping i would travel towards the train traveling towards me on tracks of destruction 

i had grown used to walking taking strolls down sad atlanta streets and 

wilmington boulevards looking beggars in the face and feeling the sadness of souls

lost without a home or voice or chance to state their claim in their own life, a life

where the rules are constantly changing like that of a kaleidoscope toy but this isn't a

game things have changed i’ve forgiven the one who molested me and those who 

trespassed me like a passerby bumping into you no exchange needed victims of circumstance 

i am still functioning and able with small traces of post traumatic stress that i acknowledge to liberate myself like seeking love in the arms of strangers who know nothing but how to abuse and break promises no longer am i humpdy dumpdy humping around risking myself for the 

sake of something meaningful, i must testify and share

i’m meaningful and im complete.

amtrak-061914

the inner mystery

it’s coming
hold on
i’ve come too far
like butterflies bursting from cocoons
sweet buttery pound cake from hot oven
i think i’m ready

cliff covered mountains or
valium filled valleys
it don’t matter
not when you have wings and
believe you can fly
angels and demons

evil doers and non well wishers
appear like
thorns beneath the prettiest rose whose
fragrance lure like
sirens off distant shores
garden sheers

i no longer fear fear
mislead into a strange bed
driving past dead ends
no u turns or new friends
rain is inevitable when in doubt
umbrellas

this fella’s destiny he does not know
but unconquerable belief is
destined to bring him close
to what most spend a life time in search of
what is this thing called love

grace

you inspire me

Hey Bae

Send me a pic of you..right now. I wanna write something....and you...

Well....you inspire me.

Your smile, your eyes...your spirit....it's refreshing...I would be lying if I said I didn't find you attractive....and physically you’re the type of beautiful I would date....hold...kiss...wanting to learn every curve, every inch, every detail of your body....but more than any of that...well...

There’s something about your spirit....your eagerness to learn and find your purpose...your passion...Your....You.

But I’m a dreamer....a fantasy believer....I still imagine fairies and white witches flying and living in the forest....and I imagine mermaids like listening to Beyonce also....that would be cool....I'm a big kid, I'm a Poet....I like puppies and I'm a sucker for candy....

And I love God and miracles and the possibility that some day Earth will know Peace again...she's been away too long....and maybe I’m naive enough to think you may read all of this and understand....who knows. I just want to see a picture of you...one taken right now, cause you inspire me.

soulmate

i knew you before time was time
before this spinning earth had formed
before the stars took their rightful place
in the skies above

i knew you before words before
institutions and man found it
necessary to define and describe
things they don’t understand

nestled together we were speeding
atoms in a bond both tight and minut
as one of one with jupiter and mars and
salamanders elephants and trees however

intrinsic thought found need to
express itself in the most grandest manner
bursting us lightyears ages and spaces apart
our rhythms still in sync

at last we are rejoined in costa rica a
cafe a movie theatre beneath a
palm along the nile the drool from a
new born’s smile

i knew you then i know you now without
coincidence or condition nor conclusion
no descript can define us but for man’s
satisfaction we’ll call this "love".

orange

so true

i sit

waiting
watching
wishing for that bulge to
appear
always after we’ve smoked a
blunt or two

i knew that in a matter of time
it’s presence
would make clear
the reason i was here
the reason i loved yellow boys
the reason i would never marry
at least not in the eyes of God
the reason sons kill themselves or
leave their home never to return
the reason some little boys cry at night
longing for their father’s acceptance
his genuine love
attention

the reason why caged birds sing and
why flowers never blossom in the
back yards of little boys who liked to dress and
take care of others
no flowers bloomed for them only
balled fists with the power of buildings
falling on puppies or
sharp mean words loaded with hate like strategic tv
ruining the innocent minds of children who know not who they are
their destiny changed forever

god must have made the mistake of
puttin the delicious desire to be touched and caressed by strong black hands roughened with
calluses from building america and then carrying her burdens from
cotton to bridges for
colored only
less than equal
powerfully inferior yet
surviving strongly those
strong black hands that held mama’s when she pushed forth life this
life that they both created underneath a starry sky with a kiss from God the
same life those strong black hands would strike and abuse without a single touch
absent

the worst thing you can do to a person is to ignore them
the worst thing you can do to a son is to not care
is this what’s wrong with little black boys from the projects or
little black boys from the suburbs
do they become abandoned like a racehorse with a broken leg a
tampon after its’ purpose is satisfied
flushed down porcelain toilets with blue water
into oceans to be used and bullied by sharks and tidal currents
only to become a grown man lacking the confidence to believe in his own dreams
or the confidence to know he is all right; able and capable
of saving the world

peace, puppies and flowers are all birthed with the
necessity to be loved, nurtured, and accepted and
so do little boys who someday
realize they are
gay.

12 Angry Nurses and Satan

Could not hold me back from seeing the sunshine again. 

The thoughts and prayers of my friends.
Those who spend their days being good Catholics, jumping from pews doing that Blues Brothers shit, I salute and thank you. 

In this living life of wars, no judging my views, cause our Gods find sacred that vow. 

Get up, get out, and do something...just try and avoid the things that can cause a night mare of your dreams. 

Get up get out and get something....tomorrow's not promised; pissing on yourself in open pajamas.

Get up get out and be something...this ain't no dress rehearsal man you can't keep doing that same shit over and over again.

So here it is a reminder a photograph to remember.
I was 20 minutes from the morgue...I'm just saying...evaluate what YOU'RE living for.

Thanks again to all those from the Port to the A and places in between that prayed for me, that thought of me, that kept me. 

I am forever grateful and and I am forever changed...still recovering, but my thought's are not the same.

to kill a mockingbird

they’ve all asked and

i’ve sworn to secrecy on 

the sex of mockingbirds

who never fly south

too good to move on or 

too lazy to put forth the effort

a life of coke and leisure

i pleasure their company with mine

allowing myself to be chopped

broken down and then snorted

dirty hundreds or crisp twenties

corners of torn match books from QT

brown liquor numbs this 

brown boy’s blues

clinking of ice cubes in 

crystal tumblers 

snapping pictures posting on 

instagram and tumblr

ill never speak on the affairs or 

encounters or the events that 

circumstance and southern lust

privies me for

to kill a mockingbird is

cowardly where i’m from

possible (090613)

the impossible is no longer part of my tongue's pronunciation
proclamation is non stoic
settling for bullshyt unworthy of my time
tired have i become of non triumphant fanfare

false trumpets do kings any good
greatness is my purpose
pursuing meaning in dark ghost filled kingdoms
killing my vision visiting those unwilling to see

selfishness within them selves
serving speedy satisfaction
suffer the little children who grew up believing
santa claus had forgotten them

tough does the heart become
bitter does the heart become
broken hearts can be undone
unlike stubborn grown men and christians

criticizing constantly the actions of others
only to realize that this life was meant to be lived
lovingly and with the liberty of free choice
choose ye this day whom ye will serve

surely the strong will choose
compassion and the unimaginable
unexplainable unlimited life giver
great light bearer; creator of all things

thankful am i for insight and understanding
unplugging myself and life from the impossible
idiocentric norms that limit self from seeing
superbly how wonderful this life really is