Yours truly, B. 010416

So I found myself thinking about you yet again wondering if I would continue to visit and go through the the many things we went through; both good and bad. Something about familiarity and routine that brings comfort and contentment like eating food you know is bad for you, but who can say no to good fried chicken. 

I thought about the night our world ended. How you took me to a place I had never been. We came close to losing everything. The risk. The gamble. The necessity to please everyone by giving light and life while sacrificing our own; something we did to often. What a night and what a life. I'm thankful. 

But as all good stories and times must end so must our dependency upon one another. This tug of war leading to no where. 

"This is the song that doesn't end, it just goes on and on my friend."

I must cut the tie that binds us and free myself of you only holding on to the lessons learned. A sweet dream and beautiful nightmare. Twisted fantasies someday to be revealed in a novel yet to be written. Farewell my past. It's been real. I'm ready for something new and glorious and shiny. 

Yours truly....
B. 010416

be you (062315)

still (61715)

I still remain friends with those chosen few
The ones I let my guard down with
Walked around naked sharing my body and heart
The ones who intrigued my mind and made me smile
And cry sometimes at the same time

The ones who found my humor whimsical or at least
Tolerable to the point of not damaging my ego
The ones who dealt with my random taste in music
As well as my random mood swings, like a kid-
Unpredictable

But never was there a question of my love, my passion-
My desire to hold and be held and be one from first
Blush to last kiss goodbye. My eyes did wander at
Times and once I did find myself in the bed of another but
I blame no one but myself.

Emotions have a language and understanding of their own
Like finding a tortoise with two heads in some dark woodland bog
It is strangely familiar in appearance but foreign in understanding
I still don’t understand the rage and craze of my ways but
I’m always sincere

So here I sit going through his box of love letters and old photographs
And keepsakes from lovers past replaying scenes in my mind-
Front row seat to my insanity but I imagine it’s sadly similar to
Many who search and live and seek something real using only our
Instincts and heart to lead the way

Ending up lost amidst break-ups and maybes, maybe I should have
Gone with that one instead of this one maybe I shouldn't have
Been so selective using artificial standards that i don't  meet
Maybe I should have just followed the wind breezing by
Like a kite carefree and soaring in life’s sky.

I still talk to plants, I still love Prince, I still keep goldfish and I still keep the memory of our first kiss. Still. I love
You.

What is Love?

possible (090613)

the impossible is no longer part of my tongue's pronunciation
proclamation is non stoic
settling for bullshyt unworthy of my time
tired have i become of non triumphant fanfare

false trumpets do kings any good
greatness is my purpose
pursuing meaning in dark ghost filled kingdoms
killing my vision visiting those unwilling to see

selfishness within them selves
serving speedy satisfaction
suffer the little children who grew up believing
santa claus had forgotten them

tough does the heart become
bitter does the heart become
broken hearts can be undone
unlike stubborn grown men and christians

criticizing constantly the actions of others
only to realize that this life was meant to be lived
lovingly and with the liberty of free choice
choose ye this day whom ye will serve

surely the strong will choose
compassion and the unimaginable
unexplainable unlimited life giver
great light bearer; creator of all things

thankful am i for insight and understanding
unplugging myself and life from the impossible
idiocentric norms that limit self from seeing
superbly how wonderful this life really is