unpredictable

it’s unpredictable; this pain
like eggs falling from the sky onto
sizzling cement summer sidewalks
like silverbacks enclosed in
cement cages artificial forest
frustration

the process
the preparation
the surrender
the faith
thou will be done
chief surgeon and healer of us all
my arms and wings are stretched
i’m ready when you are
the trip

why do we fight it like denial
your gay child
your cheating spouse
soon to be foreclosed house...

just fly away to heaven brother
save a place for me brother
put in a word for me

like apple juice the blood flows
from me a small scratch or sore
with the power of volcanoes erupting
on abysmal sea floors where the sun
has never had the pleasure of heating
it reminds me of the power i possess
as product of creation

the pain slips away like thieves after
intrusions no where to be found
im lost in prayer counting stars
meditation and music
calming myself for next time.

ether

you treated me
like the dope man
the one who shorted you
on your sacks

you wore me
like those too tight jeans
the dark blue ones
with the stallions on the back

i never saw you to
wear a smile always a
complaint slipping
from your lips

but something about
your angry beauty intrigued me
making me madly sadly crazy
over bipolar you

two dozen roses are
never enough the moon and
stars just won't't do
chocolate candies melt too easily
there’s just no pleasing you

but something about when we undress
freaky funky loving till the break of dawn
a thousand lions in my pocket
you tame every one

i can’t be without you baby
not even for a night
you can’t be without me either
our love is more potent than combustible ether

still (61715)

I still remain friends with those chosen few
The ones I let my guard down with
Walked around naked sharing my body and heart
The ones who intrigued my mind and made me smile
And cry sometimes at the same time

The ones who found my humor whimsical or at least
Tolerable to the point of not damaging my ego
The ones who dealt with my random taste in music
As well as my random mood swings, like a kid-
Unpredictable

But never was there a question of my love, my passion-
My desire to hold and be held and be one from first
Blush to last kiss goodbye. My eyes did wander at
Times and once I did find myself in the bed of another but
I blame no one but myself.

Emotions have a language and understanding of their own
Like finding a tortoise with two heads in some dark woodland bog
It is strangely familiar in appearance but foreign in understanding
I still don’t understand the rage and craze of my ways but
I’m always sincere

So here I sit going through his box of love letters and old photographs
And keepsakes from lovers past replaying scenes in my mind-
Front row seat to my insanity but I imagine it’s sadly similar to
Many who search and live and seek something real using only our
Instincts and heart to lead the way

Ending up lost amidst break-ups and maybes, maybe I should have
Gone with that one instead of this one maybe I shouldn't have
Been so selective using artificial standards that i don't  meet
Maybe I should have just followed the wind breezing by
Like a kite carefree and soaring in life’s sky.

I still talk to plants, I still love Prince, I still keep goldfish and I still keep the memory of our first kiss. Still. I love
You.