unpredictable

it’s unpredictable; this pain
like eggs falling from the sky onto
sizzling cement summer sidewalks
like silverbacks enclosed in
cement cages artificial forest
frustration

the process
the preparation
the surrender
the faith
thou will be done
chief surgeon and healer of us all
my arms and wings are stretched
i’m ready when you are
the trip

why do we fight it like denial
your gay child
your cheating spouse
soon to be foreclosed house...

just fly away to heaven brother
save a place for me brother
put in a word for me

like apple juice the blood flows
from me a small scratch or sore
with the power of volcanoes erupting
on abysmal sea floors where the sun
has never had the pleasure of heating
it reminds me of the power i possess
as product of creation

the pain slips away like thieves after
intrusions no where to be found
im lost in prayer counting stars
meditation and music
calming myself for next time.

Uncondtional Love (022316)

It takes effort and confidence to love unconditionally.
And it’s worth it, as with all things that require dedication;
a divine transformation or true salvation.

Without condition confidence becomes
consciousness; you know who you are without
explanation nor definition nor judgement.

Without condition confidence becomes
understanding; often man knows not what he does
nor is aware of his own affliction. Forgive them.

Without condition confidence becomes
compassion; what’s right is right and justice shall
be accessible to all, all creatures great and small.

Without condition confidence becomes
peace and love beyond all understanding and the ability to
forgive the gossiping tongue and the heated heart of hatred.

Without condition confidence becomes
a blossoming beautiful brave being boldly believing and
living a life of true unconditional love; God is love.

Yours truly, B. 010416

So I found myself thinking about you yet again wondering if I would continue to visit and go through the the many things we went through; both good and bad. Something about familiarity and routine that brings comfort and contentment like eating food you know is bad for you, but who can say no to good fried chicken. 

I thought about the night our world ended. How you took me to a place I had never been. We came close to losing everything. The risk. The gamble. The necessity to please everyone by giving light and life while sacrificing our own; something we did to often. What a night and what a life. I'm thankful. 

But as all good stories and times must end so must our dependency upon one another. This tug of war leading to no where. 

"This is the song that doesn't end, it just goes on and on my friend."

I must cut the tie that binds us and free myself of you only holding on to the lessons learned. A sweet dream and beautiful nightmare. Twisted fantasies someday to be revealed in a novel yet to be written. Farewell my past. It's been real. I'm ready for something new and glorious and shiny. 

Yours truly....
B. 010416

Rhapsody in Change

be you (062315)

12 Angry Nurses and Satan

Could not hold me back from seeing the sunshine again. 

The thoughts and prayers of my friends.
Those who spend their days being good Catholics, jumping from pews doing that Blues Brothers shit, I salute and thank you. 

In this living life of wars, no judging my views, cause our Gods find sacred that vow. 

Get up, get out, and do something...just try and avoid the things that can cause a night mare of your dreams. 

Get up get out and get something....tomorrow's not promised; pissing on yourself in open pajamas.

Get up get out and be something...this ain't no dress rehearsal man you can't keep doing that same shit over and over again.

So here it is a reminder a photograph to remember.
I was 20 minutes from the morgue...I'm just saying...evaluate what YOU'RE living for.

Thanks again to all those from the Port to the A and places in between that prayed for me, that thought of me, that kept me. 

I am forever grateful and and I am forever changed...still recovering, but my thought's are not the same.

possible (090613)

the impossible is no longer part of my tongue's pronunciation
proclamation is non stoic
settling for bullshyt unworthy of my time
tired have i become of non triumphant fanfare

false trumpets do kings any good
greatness is my purpose
pursuing meaning in dark ghost filled kingdoms
killing my vision visiting those unwilling to see

selfishness within them selves
serving speedy satisfaction
suffer the little children who grew up believing
santa claus had forgotten them

tough does the heart become
bitter does the heart become
broken hearts can be undone
unlike stubborn grown men and christians

criticizing constantly the actions of others
only to realize that this life was meant to be lived
lovingly and with the liberty of free choice
choose ye this day whom ye will serve

surely the strong will choose
compassion and the unimaginable
unexplainable unlimited life giver
great light bearer; creator of all things

thankful am i for insight and understanding
unplugging myself and life from the impossible
idiocentric norms that limit self from seeing
superbly how wonderful this life really is