Monday, October 22, 2012

sunday morning

I could blame it on the alcohol as it makes habit of emboldening the user with courage and lust
But it wasn’t that
I could say it was the intensity and passion of our meeting, our “hooking up” but I doubt it was that either
I could say it was just me being negligent, heeding your warning a little too late, after the fact, but the reddening bruises were forming prior to your saying “don’t”
As a man should, I told you, not wanting you to feel embarrassed or ashamed not knowing it would be the first and last time I held you
I kissed you
I smelled you
I tasted you
I caressed you
I surveyed your room wanting to learn you…wondering if you had read every book on your shelf…imagining myself folding and putting away your clothes..anything to see you smile
Your smile…it captures me not because you are undeniably gorgeous…but because I know only a special heart could produce such beauty
No words, no smiles…no hugs….no small convo on the way out…I left ashamed, disappointed…only praying that you would say a prayer for me…and possibly forgive me as you attempted to make your way to church early that Sunday morning