Monday, September 28, 2009

physical attraction regret/ coke makes dare reality


like an empty bowl
next to a hot stove
i wanna write something
that will feed the soul.
i seek nourishment,
something divinely sent,
something i can chef up and put to print.

fame and profit's nice,
but this is my life,
if i can share what i learn
then it's worth the price.
it's worth the mistakes,
the late night debates,
it's worth the pain and the
dirty stains and it's worth
getting wet in the august rain

it's worth the time,
worth the senseless crimes
though i never got caught
the lies haunt my mind
can't live with regret so i try and forget and
pray those marauding thoughts will leave me
like a morning shyt

like the night i lost a friend
on some stupid shyt
spit on his dick like a geeked up trick
working street corners tryna make a lick
it wasn't bout the coke
but that shyt ain't no joke
white sparkling rows on a mirror
like dixie crytals

blinded by the dope and
the hope of wanting he
but he wanting she
and she ain't me
i wrestle with circumstances endlessly
maybe a cheap thrill
would spend the wheel
pushing this heavy load up the hill

moon out
stars bright
room dark
but it went to far
i couldn't stop my car
like a falling star or being drunk in a bar
falling on my face such disgrace
we're forever scarred

words no longer shared
replaced with awkward glares
reneged on this dare
if i could disappear
like i was never here
like i was never born

vampires never see the sun
they stay on the run
never loving one
never coming undone
never misplacing pride
let the music die
i just told a lie

friendship means more than lust
in me you can trust
but the flesh was weak and
the lust was a must and
the trust wasn't trust
like the sweet pickles bus
it just never shows up

i leave the station
my final destination
the death of me will be my need
to fly with the breeze
to just live free

to rid myself of cravings for misbehaving for
contemplations mutual stimulation
simulating acts implanted in my
genetic code and
mental overload

the trauma of being birthed
with a loving soul
innocent and free
attracted to men like me
a masculine touch
is it much too much?
i don’t know, it must have been
cause we’re no longer friends
....to be continued

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