pain of the loveless

i wander the house alone late nights
seeking constructive things to do while being destructive
no sleep for the weary or the loveless ones

maybe that’s what i’m really in search of
dark midnight love
white porcelain lines on desktops or macbooks

im an open book hoping to be found
like babies fighting sleep, afraid they’ll miss something
my eyes are red from fighting life

from fighting me
i’ve lost interest in food and friends
my heart is throwing a temper tantrum

nothing seems to soothe it
random nuts from random strangers
fruit and ben and jerry’s ice cream

offer temporary pacification
maybe mama should have spared the pacifier
and allowed me to cry

to scream
to kick
to feel

maybe this is why my heart has yet to heal
late nights seeking another soul able to feel
the pain of the loveless ones