standing in the need of prayer

on tracks i travel towards a testimony i’ve yet to deliver

souls lie in limbo like trash scattered throughout philadelphia streets

mama said goodbye with a tear in her eye but she knew it was what she had to do

her baby boy wouldn’t listen, his will no longer wore the diaper she dutifully

placed around his heart praying every night that demons kept their distance

“keep and protect him lord” she prayed only to let go without knowing the 

consequence or conclusion to his destiny, “i put it all in your hands” her faith 

unquestioned

i no longer regret the lines of coke i did or the alcohol i consumed for it

provided tales of healing and grace and how out of any darkness the sun

will always rise like the spirit of the phoenix i rise with the certainty of tides

crashing along sandy Carolina shores and beaches where coloreds use to dance

paying homage to the seas, ancestral spirits still swimming in salty waters

searching for home free from the evil bondage that enslaved for profit

and greed i grieve for them i am burdened with the task of liberating their offspring

spring came with my resurrection after a night of drinking poison causing me to 

slumber for seven days while death grinned foolishly in the corner hoping i would say no 

hoping i would travel towards the train traveling towards me on tracks of destruction 

i had grown used to walking taking strolls down sad atlanta streets and 

wilmington boulevards looking beggars in the face and feeling the sadness of souls

lost without a home or voice or chance to state their claim in their own life, a life

where the rules are constantly changing like that of a kaleidoscope toy but this isn't a

game things have changed i’ve forgiven the one who molested me and those who 

trespassed me like a passerby bumping into you no exchange needed victims of circumstance 

i am still functioning and able with small traces of post traumatic stress that i acknowledge to liberate myself like seeking love in the arms of strangers who know nothing but how to abuse and break promises no longer am i humpdy dumpdy humping around risking myself for the 

sake of something meaningful, i must testify and share

i’m meaningful and im complete.

amtrak-061914

to kill a mockingbird

they’ve all asked and

i’ve sworn to secrecy on 

the sex of mockingbirds

who never fly south

too good to move on or 

too lazy to put forth the effort

a life of coke and leisure

i pleasure their company with mine

allowing myself to be chopped

broken down and then snorted

dirty hundreds or crisp twenties

corners of torn match books from QT

brown liquor numbs this 

brown boy’s blues

clinking of ice cubes in 

crystal tumblers 

snapping pictures posting on 

instagram and tumblr

ill never speak on the affairs or 

encounters or the events that 

circumstance and southern lust

privies me for

to kill a mockingbird is

cowardly where i’m from

Saturday, March 16, 2013: Death of a Vampire

I found it...at the bottom of the coke bag
I found it
I had been searching and searching
Old faces replaced by new ones
Friends becoming strangers
Succubus takes shelter
Knowing I’m a lonely vampire
With a weakness for things young, wild, and free
His garlic filled seaman and cold silver touches
Crippled me
I found shelter in the dark-

Up late nights thirsting for his sweet bitter blood
Addicted to him
Hurt
Neglect
Disappointment
Disrespected
Distant
Disappearing
Drowning myself in snow falling from porcelain plates
Shoveling my way with used QT straws
No angels to be made
Just cold
Too cold
Too dark
Too old am I to be here.